A normative sequence of stages is proposed in the fragile and slow evolution from open conflict toward harmonious coexistence as well at its devolution from the latter to the former.
A one end of the spectrum, confrontation assumes ill intent on any act of the other, active hostility and intent to damage the other's life, livelihood or well being. It is dominated by emotions of elation, contempt, and hostility. Truce or Freeze is characterized by assumptions of ill intent on any act of the other, while acts of hostility are curtailed by a real or virtual "neutral zone" controlled by powerful third parties. The dominant emotions are resentment, anger, mistrust. Collaboration (etymologically “Sharing labor”) retains some assumptions of ill intent while certain activities in common are carried out. The third party looses visibility, and the dominant emotions include ambivalence and a modicum of mistrust. Cooperation (etymologically “Sharing operations”) entails assumption of neutral intent on self and the other, while activities in common are planned and carried out. Key emotions are a mitigated ambivalence and cautious compassion for the other. Interdependence (literally: “Reciprocal dependence”) shows common goals overshadowing most assumptions of ill intent, and is characterized by active involvement in plan and act toward the common good. The dominant emotions are trust and forgiveness. At the other extreme of the spectrum, (differentiated) integration entails assumption of good intent in any act of the other and active involvement in programs aimed at the common good. Each supports the other's growth. The dominant emotions are solidarity and a friendly trust.
Each stage constitutes an amalgam of practices, narratives and prevalent emotions, a relational “game” that tends to resist change. The systemic cohesion of each stage constitutes the main challenge, and the promise of a similar cohesion en the next set the main hope, for professionals aiming at facilitating evolutionary change, be it in interpersonal or in international relations.